A Tolani story
As Tolani Shoneye moves closer to her dreams, she talks to Yolanthe Fawehinmi about her love for storytelling and why you will always find Black women at the centre of her world.
Tolani Shoneye is a writer, presenter and one-third of The Receipts Podcast | CREDIT: Tolani Shoneye
A round of applause for Tolani Shoneye. No, seriously. I want her to feel the electric atmosphere of a roaring crowd, the type that invades bodies and spaces, rising and falling like the waves of a tumultuous sea. Rendering whoever is on the receiving end of them speechless, grateful and standing about love feet high. This isn’t even for any particular reason either, I just want her to know that there are people — outside of the voice in her head, friends and family — who are very proud of her.
Your girl Tolly T is currently telling me about her dream. “It’s the biggest non-sexual fantasy ever, but it genuinely turns me on and makes me so happy,” says the 33-year-old. She’s wearing a burnt orange silk co-ord set, ignoring the buttons on her shirt, and beige New Balance 327 trainers. Hair is jet black, parted down the middle, with undone messy waves. I’m listening, but can’t help but notice the sparkle in her eyes as she goes on to describe what the screening of her TV show would be like. “It’s so vivid in my mind, that I’m like, I have to have this moment.” And I want it for her too.
The writer, presenter and one-third of The Receipts Podcast, who wrote The Sunday Times bestseller Keep the Receipts, has always been obsessed with storytelling. Shoneye was born in London but spent her formative years, between the ages of one and seven, in Nigeria, where she spent most evenings — when it’s comfortably warm and dry — sitting at the feet of adults telling stories to the children in her compound. It's why the co-host of the Netflix 10/10 (Would Recommend) podcast created Story Story in 2020, a platform dedicated to stories about life and everything in between.
Yolanthe Fawehinmi and Tolani Shoneye recording episode four of Black Prose at BISON Studios | CREDIT: New Strange/Tony Hulse
“I still don’t feel like a writer,” says the beauty writer who started her career in the BuzzFeed UK newsroom. “They are superior beings, who are intelligent and definitely don’t make [any] mistakes in their lives. I’m just not that version of that woman who is a writer in my head. I’m nowhere near as smart as them.” But where has the imposter syndrome come from? “I don’t know. That’s the weird thing,” she admits.
“It’s a lovely surprise every time I write. Sometimes I would write something, leave it, come back to read it and realise, actually, that’s quite good. Story Story did help with this. Seeing what people can do with your words. And even if I get found out one day, so what? Who’s going to beat me?”
If you’ve ever read any of her work, you would know just how much Shoneye loves love and Black women. “That community of Black women rocks my world. I’m so grateful to them. Even when I think about The Receipts, it’s Black women listening that have made it what it is. It’s Black women following me, and correcting me privately when I've been wrong.”
Black women are the people Shoneye does anything for, especially when it comes to her writing. “They are so key. In every single story I write, a Black woman is my protagonist,” she says. “I’m always thinking if someone like me would read, watch or listen to this.”
Yolanthe Fawehinmi and Tolani Shoneye after recording episode four of Black Prose at BISON Studios | CREDIT: New Strange/Tony Hulse
“I don’t want to explain things like I did when I was a beauty writer at BuzzFeed. I’ve spent my whole life researching phrases and cultures I didn’t understand. So look it up if you are that invested. I’ll only ever explain the meaning of Yoruba names because they are so rich. Though, once you put your writing out into the world, it’s no longer yours and is up for interpretation.”
Maybe this is why Shoneye doesn’t get too attached to her writing. It’s what helped her write Keep the Receipts whilst trying to navigate the complex nature of grief. “A lot of my writing comes from living but at the time I was in a completely different state of mind, and wasn’t really living. My dad had just died. So death and finality were what was at the forefront of my mind. So it was difficult and I missed so many deadlines because I can’t s--- on demand. Nothing was coming. And that probably isn’t the best place to write from. It's difficult.”
It’s important to find what works for you and write the words that you can use. “I have daytime television on in the background sometimes, there’s always a trashy rom-com on. But prefer writing outside of my home only because if there is any little inconvenience, I will go to sleep. I also usually handwrite everything too before typing — I handwrote the whole book chapter by chapter — as blank screens can be so intimidating.”
Listen to our full conversation in the latest episode of the Black Prose podcast here.